The way the cookie crumbles

By Talie

As the real summer approaches, now is the time when we get out and about, meet with friends and generally do more socialising. Now is the time to cut loose a relationship that has no real benefit to you or your life. Some people get used to whatever little comfort another person might provide for them and hold on to those crumbs for dear life.

Let’s say we are all a unique flavour of cookie, and if we were to compare our life, time, emotions and feelings to a whole cookie, and somebody is giving you the crumbs of their life, you need to change your choice of cookie. Becuase – and I hate to break it to you – if someone is only willing to offer you their crumbs, you are clearly not that important to them. Life is hard enough, but love is one of those things that cannot and should not be forced. If somebody is feeling you, they will want to be physically with you and spend any free time they might have with you without you having to ask.

When you meet the right person the usual dynamic – in cookie terms – is that they are happy to give you around a quarter of their cookie and you may want to do the same. This gives you the chance to get to know if their cookie is right for you: does it have all the ingredients you need to be happy and vice versa?  Providing all goes well, the natural progression is that you then exchange half of your cookies while continuing to move forward. Keep in mind when you’re in a balanced relationship, you are never really at a loss: you’re giving half or quarter of what you have and receiving the same back, which means you will always have a full cookie. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not always going to be a fair trade. Some days your partner might need more of your cookie, for whatever reason, and you will be happy to give it to them, because you know if you ever need some extra cookie, they will happily do the same for you.

Keeping this in mind, while you are looking down for your crumbs, brushing them up off the floor to feed the love hunger that you have, somebody could be right in front of you offering you half of their cookie. But, while you’re looking for and collecting your crumbs, you could be blocking the blessings by not paying attention to the feast that is being offered to you!

Of course, when you look up and see this big chunk of cookie being offered to you it might feel overwhelming because, when you’re used to crumbs, a quarter can seem like too much, maybe a little too heavy, even sickening. Your natural instinct might be to reject the offer or consider it too eager. You need to get out of your own head. We all deserve more than crumbs, so know your worth and take that quarter cookie and enjoy it. At this point, you might not feel comfortable giving away a quarter of your own cookie, so you may end up giving less. However, the right person will see that you’re used to crumbs and will continue giving you that quarter until you realise a quarter is what you deserve, and before you know it, you’ll be more than happy to give a quarter back.

This is how relationships are built: the simple act of give and take. Unfortunately, many of us get used to settling for less than we deserve or giving and not receiving anything or next to nothing in return.  Please don’t be closed to love because you think you are happy with the crumbs, and please don’t assume somebody offering you more than crumbs is desperate: they might just see the value of your cookie. For all you know they could have tried many fancy types of cookie in their life, and then here you come, the perfect mix of milk chocolate and dark chocolate with the right blend of spices and a light sprinkle of chocolate powder on top. And, automatically, they know this is the cookie they have been waiting for.  And all the while, you have been eating the crumbs of a peanut m&m cookie and you don’t even like peanuts!

You need a real taste to see if it can work, and getting the crumbs is not enough of somebody’s life to hold on to. Be with somebody willing to share more than crumbs with you. Avoid the crumbs, because if crumbs is all you’re getting, it’s more than likely that they have fallen off of somebody else’s cookie!

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